hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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