There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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