I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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