just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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