Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize