im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
