This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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