why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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