you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
ttyl tear gas
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
