He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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