When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
