I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
