i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
