i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think your dad took our porno
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
