Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
