I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
