you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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