What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
