i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
