God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
