Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
