Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
