but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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