when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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