Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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