Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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