No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
