Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
