i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
