ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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