Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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