Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
