The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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