I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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