He asked me if I "almost moaned"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize