i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize