i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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