John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I know her cup size but not her name....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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