thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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