We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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