Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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