Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
