and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
