I look better un-naked...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
