My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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