I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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