Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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