We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
