**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
