we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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