I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
