I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
