We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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