Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
