No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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