eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
