Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
