The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
