Barsexuality is the new black.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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