After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i dont even know how to be here
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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