I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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