I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
ok first of all what the fuck
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
