well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
